


Breakdown of Diplomacy

by bravevesperian



Series: A Guide to Diplomacy in Othard [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, solarshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravevesperian/pseuds/bravevesperian
Summary: Magnai confronts Hien after the fall of Doma Castle. Part of a series.





	Breakdown of Diplomacy

There was really no true clearing of the dust, leastways not in the traditional sense. When one thinks of waiting for the smoke to clear, it is on the wind-- but this time, it was water that swept all away. Hien took no moment to grieve, no moment to himself from the time they touched down at the enclave. 

Those who stood by him saw him only when he was serving, functioning as the head of state to the best of his abilities though he had only the barest idea as to what that meant. He was not his father, and would never be. A part of him still thought that the easier road would've been to present the Garleans with his head, therefore dispersing any whispers of a resistance surviving and yet-- here they were with victory before them. It was not easily won, nor was it a victory that the Domans could claim for themselves alone.

 

Day and night, Hien toiled and the Confederates and people of the Steppe lingered, working alongside the Domans as though waiting for something-- anything-- from the lord of the land. He had given a paltry thank you which most seemed to think was a dismissal, that they may return to whence they came-- and some did. 

It was no secret what had transpired that day, and that Hien had lost another father in the wreckage of his ancestral home. 

His refusal to slow down, to let the grief rise up and find him-- had left Yugiri beside herself with worry. With the Scions and the Warrior of Light having moved on to keep the tide of revolution swelling all the way to Ala Mhigo, it was up to her to serve as the sole buffer for Hien's dark mood. Aside from everything else going on, she felt the small group of Xaela-- namely, a handful of stubborn Oronir, Buduga, and their representative Khans-- remained on the edges of their recovery efforts. They were, though ever prideful and a bit unpleasant-- ever ready to run errands and to do work that asked for the finesse of their flying Yol companions. 

Yugiri was, however, beginning to believe that there was an ulterior motive to Magnai's presence, though he seemed too cowed by all that had transpired to approach Hien directly. Or perhaps it was out of a sense of true respect. She was unsure of which it was-- and was not certain that it mattered. 

Out of pure desperation and little more, did she appear before the Oronir Khan one misty morning as he sat sipping tea (or perhaps coffee) from a small earthenware cup next to his camp's cookfire. Magnai looked nearly as miserable as Hien, she thought-- his gaze empty and listless, usually cocky expression tired and worn. He had been hard at work, that much was true-- but so had they all. 

"Child of the moon-- what do you come to ask of me?" Magnai's questioning was short but not necessarily hostile. 

Yugiri gave a very small smile that she hoped was pleasant rather than pained and came to sit upon her knees nearby him. 

"Pardon my intrusion, mighty Khan of the Oronir. But-- my coming is... well, I suppose 'tis a personal call." She said slowly, ever gifted at choosing her words. 

At this, Magnai sat up more fully and leaned towards Yugiri, squinting as though he had never bothered to look at her before. She withdrew slightly, not meeting his gaze as she busied herself with a thread that was loose at the seam on her tonban. 

"Hm... I suppose perhaps... it could be..." 

"I did not come to play into your theatrics. I come to speak plain. You... You must go to Lord Hien." She interrupted his surreptitious mumbling. 

At that he nearly choked on his steaming hot tea and shot her a look that was positively scalding. "What I do... with... w-with Hien is none of your business." 

Yugiri rolled her eyes. "If you think you've fooled anyone at all.. well, you're even less intelligent than I've given you credit for" her voice had gone appropriately cold at this, and she got to her feet to dust dirt and gravel from her knees. 

Before Magnai could say anything more, she continued. "Well, do as you like-- though I fear without some form of nourishment, his broken heart may wither away altogether soon enough." 

And Magnai was left turning it over the thought in his head, wondering how and why it was that he was the one out of anyone in the Doman Enclave that would be asked after-- in regard to Hien's spiritual " _nourishment_."

Only when the reality of what Yugiri had said managed to sink in past his many filters did Magnai accept its urgency. Hien had lost someone dear to him, and in the aftermath had chosen to shut down and shut out the outside world. For the days that had passed, Magnai had believed that the man was avoiding him intentionally-- but now he saw that it was very likely that he may just be unable to while maintaining his facade. 

A terrible thing that the Oronir was simply not better versed in matters of the heart. 

Hien being in such a state was something that only those closest to him really saw-- though Yugiri and the others seemed to not be terribly convinced. He had become a master of self-control, keeping himself behind the playful and pulled-together mask that he wore. No one was really fooled by it, save for perhaps those who would rather not look more deeply. 

He settled there, wondering where Hien was-- if he was at the small palatial residence called Kienkan and if he would be allowed inside. There was little choice: Magnai knew that if he didn't get up and go now, he might not ever. So he pulled himself to his feet and shuffled away, not bothering to alert his guard. 

The enclave was far from quiet despite the late hour. There were people shuffling building supplies and debris about by lantern light, others were eating and drinking as they wound down for the night. A few people turned to stare-- the Xaela were not unheard of but were more rare to see about than their Raen counterparts. Magnai's purposeful march brought him many sideways glances, but it was not as though anyone had never seen an Auri man before. 

He walked brazenly this time, though his neck scales burned with the icy sensation of fear and shame that he always felt when he thought of anyone finding out about his and Hien's trysts. Now though he felt torn between that fear and the intrinsic desire to plant his feet in his identity and his rightful place as the Khan of his tribe. 

There was no reason that someone in his position would be denied the right to meet with Hien-- though he wondered if Hien wanted to see him at all. If he hadn't sought him out by now...

The anxiety remained as he adjusted the fur on his shoulders, patting dust from it as though anyone would have noticed it. He straightened his jewelry, the beads and metal that adorned the long robes he wore and then pushed against the gates. His weight should have carried them open but he found them barred. A curious thing that was not a custom on the Steppe. 

He grunted and shifted, crossing his arms over his chest for a moment before a swift sound of something being moved made him start. A small part of the gate had slid open, a woman's eyes peering at him suspiciously. 

"Who goes...?" She began but looked him over a bit more. Her expression shifted to one of surprise instead. "Forgive me, you are one of our Xaela brethren. The hour is late, what can I help you with?"

Magnai thought at first to bite his tongue but quickly lost that gumption. "Do not deign to speak as though we are equals. I am of the sun and you, Doman, are of the Earth." 

She looked taken aback, dark eyes shifting beneath a furrowed brow. It was clear that she did not know how to deal with this kind of interaction and was looking over her shoulder for help. 

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not sure I understand. I ask only for your name that I may relay any messages--"

"I am Magnai the Older, Khan of the Oronir, and you will allow me to pass." 

"The Khan? You're the Khan. Oh, oh-- I'm sorry, I'll let you in right away." The sound of the gate unlocking was heavy and Magnai found he didn't much care for the practice. Even Reunion's stone walls made him a bit uncomfortable in their permanence. It was just a matter of preference, perhaps-- or it was Magnai being hypocritical and failing to realize the permanence and removed nature of the dawn throne itself. 

He stepped inside the moment he had enough space to do so and passed the gate keep as he did with a look of vague consternation on his face. Magnai didn't like being unrecognized, and he didn't like being in a position where his power meant so little. 

He brushed the woman off and marched past her towards the two front doors, repeating his action from before and swinging them open all at once. He passed the entry hall, to the obvious distress of some servants rushing after him-- and had made it as far as the audience room when Hien arrived, coming to check on the commotion. Magnai was obviously arguing with a growing group of Domans who had come to work at Kienkan, wanting to serve their lord-- and no, his mind was not playing tricks on him. 

Hien took a deep breath and sighed before heading for the altercation at the far end of the room at a brisk pace. His hair fell over his shoulder as he turned, mingling briefly with the fur on his shoulder as he approached. 

"Pardon friends but-- what is the fuss about?" Hien interjected with enough force to project over the squabbling. 

Magnai looked over at him, over the heads of the people near him to meet Hien's hazel gaze. 

"I--! I didn't do-- Hien!" He spluttered. 

"I would appreciate it if you all would refrain from giving my scaled friend here too much trouble. --And show him due respect. He and his people sacrificed much for our homeland that we might know victory. Welcome to my humble abode, Kienkan-- your Radiance." Hien passed through the group who had turned to listen to him. 

Though really it had not been his abode for long, only a few nights since it had been cleaned up and brought back to any shadow of its former glory. It was no palace, but he didn't want or need one. 

Hien showed no sign of the fact that his chest seized and ached when he saw Magnai so closely after having shut himself out for so long. He'd made no effort to contact him despite clearly being aware that he'd been present all along. It wasn't for lack of desire-- but due to the fact that he was unsure he'd be able to allow Magnai that kind of vulnerability with him. 

As the help looked on, confused and a bit intrigued, Hien pushed past and right up to where Magnai stood. He reached out and took the Khan's hand and then brought it to his lips to kiss it. It was a gesture scarcely reserved for such connections, and yet Hien gave it without a second thought and dared the onlookers to gasp or react. They dared not. 

Magnai stood dumbfounded for a moment and then withdrew his hand as though it had been burned. Hien grinned. 

It was the first spark of joy he had felt in what seemed like ages. 

The initial pain he had felt had given way to near elation. It washed over him suddenly, as the first relief he had felt since they had lost Gosetsu. It was selfishness, he told himself-- but was there any real measure of that now? He wasn't sure. He was suddenly overcome with the desire to bury himself in Magnai's chest, to melt away into the shadows there. The emotion was dangerous, it was unconscionable.

Hien pulled away suddenly gasping for ragged breaths, walking away as fast as he could for fear of embarrassing them both. It was better that way, and Magnai had shown nothing but signs of wishing to be discreet. 

His retreat was halted suddenly when arms encircled him from behind and pulled him in close. The hushed breaths of the people in the room washed over them like ocean waves coming from somewhere far away. Hien's sharp breaths had become sniffles, and Magnai used his own body to shield him from the view of the people behind them as though that would protect his dignity. 

Though Magnai didn't know where he was going or shuffling off to, he nudged Hien forward and into the narrow halls of Keinkan that contained many other rooms for various purposes. Only upon passing into the more enclosed space did it seem as though he understood what must be done, and he began to lead Magnai by the hand until they reached his private room. 

Hien shut the sliding door behind them and tried to turn away from Magnai though he did not allow it. Magnai tilted his head up with long fingers curled under his chin. Still, Hien did not look at him, though his eyes shone dewy and wet as he tried to hold it all in. Magnai had cried in front of him before, and now it was time to shift those roles. 

The newly re-instated monarch shuddered out a breath, his eyes lowered as he tried to find the heart to think: to react or do anything. 

This time, Magnai brought their lips together of his own volition, and the kiss was slow and tender and soft as though it meant to catch his tears. Though it was soothing, at the same moment Hien felt as though his chest might collapse in on itself. When he broke away to breathe, he hid his face against the Khan's robes, ignoring the hard edges of beads and pendants that pressed cooly against his skin. 

"I fear this state of mine is not terribly desirable.. forgive me. I'll right myself here shortly." Hien slowed his breathing, trying to regain his composure before he lost it entirely. 

"I don't understand," Magnai answered back stubbornly. 

"I can't see myself as terribly fuckable at the moment," Hien began but Magnai cut him off sharply. 

"Is that it? That's what you think. That I only want to fuck you. That that is all that I could possibly be interested in?" The Khan demanded, his voice rising slowly. 

Hien blinked up at him, perplexed and somewhat unsure as to what exactly he had said or done wrong. He had meant nothing so detrimental in what he'd said and yet, it had come across so crass--

"I. That's not... what I meant." 

"That's how it sounds. You're a fool. Is that all you seek when you come seeking me?" Magnai's voice trembled as he voiced his inquiry, revealing once more that far more tender side of him that hid beneath the armor of his scales. 

Hien began to understand that even someone like this could be so very fragile, so very breakable. He shook his head sharply-- as though he couldn't bear the thought of such a thing and gritted his teeth. 

"No, Magnai. No. I know not what to call... this. All of this. I've not the language to articulate it. Do you? You, who speak in metaphors and demand my subservience. How am I to think of myself as anything else to you?" He asked, a warning in his tone. 

"This... it is our way." Magnai said tersely. 

"It is _not_ mine. I know not what we might be-- what it is that we are might be called. I care little of such things. But I will tell you this: I am not yours to _own_. Whether or not my heart belongs to you is of no consequence in regard to this, do you understand me, Magnai?" Hien's words were firm despite the emotion in his voice. 

Magnai stood, somewhat taken aback as he tried to process what Hien had said. He feared that it was only softer words for rejection and yet he felt that the King did not pull away. The play of emotions on the Khan's face was messy and strange, a wild sort of spectacle that showed how very infantile his abilities were when it came to dealing with being challenged in the intellectual and emotional realms. 

"You ask me to in turn submit to you?" He asked, tone bitter. 

"Do you find it impossible to imagine a world in which neither of us submit to each other in order to be... to be together? There is no submission here, only a partnership. Or is that not what you seek?" Magnai paced away from Hien as he spoke, fur boots heavy on the woven tatami mats that were usually not to be tread upon by outdoor shoes-- 

"Together? By what manner do you mean, Doman?" 

Hien threw up his hands, hissing out of frustration. "Damn your pride, and damn you along with it!"

"You have no such authority over me. I am of the sun--"   
"You are a spoiled child, terrified that someone might see you for exactly who you are! You fool no one, Magnai." Hien bellowed in response. 

Magnai grabbed him by the fur on his shoulder, jerking him closer as though to threaten violence, but Hien's hands were faster. He braced himself against Magnai's broad chest, teeth bared. 

"I-- I-- h-how dare you just--" Magnai's rage came out in a babbled and frightened panic as the genuine upset in Hien's eyes began to settle and drive itself home. He had never meant to upset him. He had never meant for this to go as badly as it had. Even as he tried to find the words to apologize or explain himself, Hien shoved at his middle, and they toppled to the floor in a tangle of anger and half-hearted fists. 

"I _chose_ to come to you, Magnai. I chose to let you have your way with me, and yes it was thoughtless. But that is because it was freedom! I was free, I was not a ruler in your eyes-- I was just some damned Doman in your territory." And he had wanted to shed that mantle at least in whatever sense he could in that moment so badly. Magnai had given him everything he'd wanted but... he had never wanted or expected to find it going further than that. 

"You... wanted to feel free from your role...?" Magnai asked as though he once more did not understand. His hands rested now rather impotently at his sides, Hien's knee digging into his hip as he pinned him. 

"I don't want you... just for that. I want _more_ than that-- but not if you can't see beyond this." Hien said weakly, his eyes lowered as his hair slipped and fell over his shoulder. 

"What is there, Hien? I must remain with the Steppe and you must remain with Doma." Magnai spoke again, that same vulnerability hiding just beneath the surface of his expression. 

"We aren't far. My Yol will carry me to you over any mountains, upon any winds." Hien answered. 

"Don't speak so gently--" Magnai complained, and tried to turn away. 

Hien leaned down and gently nudged the Khan's face back to look at him before lowering his face to rest their foreheads together. It was always a show of trust, as he in part, feared that Magnai's horns could do very real damage if he moved too quickly. The moment came to a soft sort of silence, though there was no such thing, and Magnai reached up to brush his hands back through Hien's hair with the softness that he had so often offered him. 

"Do you not want my gentleness?" He asked, tone somber.

"How am I to... to... in front of my warriors, in front of everyone--"

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"No. I am _proud_ of you. You are a fierce warrior and a radiant king." Magnai closed his eyes. 

"Do your men fear or begrudge the Buduga?" Hien asked finally. 

"No... not at all they are our brothers, selfsame." 

"Then what is it that you fear?" He demanded. 

Magnai did not want to admit that he knew exactly what it was-- that he feared the crumbling of his mask. The loss of the persona that he had worked so long to craft and put into place-- lost. He knew that the woman that he had manufactured didn't exist and couldn't. He had to admit that he had always been this and had only ever used it to avoid anyone casting suspicion on him for it. 

Finally, he shook his head gently, careful not to hurt Hien with his horns. "Nothing." 

"Then let us cast away all such fears, Magnai. Let us walk forward together." 

They laid together in silence for a long time, a soft warmth replacing the frustration that had been between them before. Finally, Magnai spoke again:

"I am sorry for your loss. Gosetsu was a formidable warrior," 

Hien turned and kissed the side of his head "Shh. It's fine. I'm fine. I must be. Next to you, I can find the strength." 

"I... give you strength?"

Again, Hien chuckled to himself and closed his eyes. "So, do you plan on finishing ripping me out of my clothes?"

"I would rather prove to you my intentions." And he pulled Hien in close to him. 

The Doman king nuzzled into the crook of Magnai's arm, enjoying the simplicity of the moment. He prayed silently to any kami listening that maybe this would be the road to something more, to something that could promise a change. He couldn't deny that next to Magnai was exactly where he wanted to be, no matter how strange anyone might find that fact. That would be for others to figure out.

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm settled in on an acerage out in the mountains in an undisclosed location. I'll be working on stuff off and on between building my yurt and all of the other responsibilities that come with living off of the land. I still have a good deal of time for writing though my internet access is slower and a bit limited. So! Look forward to more.


End file.
